Hello , I am an ex Scientologist , this blog is primarily about that but I may address other topics as the mood hits me to . I was in Scientology for 25 years and spent about 10,000 hours using the indoctrination and thought reform method "study tech " . I also spent time on staff and met hundreds of Scientologists and did hundreds of the cult practices . Many were the "ethics cycles and OW writeups " that really are an attempt to suppress or remove a person's identity and replace it with a mental pseudo clone of Ron Hubbard . To make a fanatical slave for the cult .
I looked outside the cult for answers in about January 2014 and left the cult in about March of 2014 . While in about 99% of members have no idea of the truth .
We are told we are in a mental therapy or spiritual enhancement or religion or science for helping people unlock potential . Or any of several other fronts that all pretend kind and humanitarian goals .
The truth is Scientology is a terrorist mind control cult and this blog is my attempt to understand and expose that . And try to state as clearly as possible the tools that I have found helpful in dealing with this .
I looked outside the cult for answers in about January 2014 and left the cult in about March of 2014 . While in about 99% of members have no idea of the truth .
We are told we are in a mental therapy or spiritual enhancement or religion or science for helping people unlock potential . Or any of several other fronts that all pretend kind and humanitarian goals .
The truth is Scientology is a terrorist mind control cult and this blog is my attempt to understand and expose that . And try to state as clearly as possible the tools that I have found helpful in dealing with this .
Saturday, May 30, 2015
I love and treasure the little hints and peaks behind the curtain we get from Tony Ortega on his personal feelings and beliefs. The other day he had the op ed piece on lunkheads - Continue reading Scientology: Making fools of your local elected lunkheads since 1952 - that showed his feelings and in interviews lately he has let his hair down a bit and showed his personal opinions. Continue reading Just two blocks from Scientology’s LA headquarters, Paulette Cooper shone In today's piece we get the dig at Hannity .Continue reading John Coale, Greta Van Susteren, and the miracle of Scientology drug technology: A meditation And I loathe the far right hate and fear mongering propaganda the shills at Fox news sell everyday . So , this is particularly amusing to me . Someday someone should write a book about Tony Ortega and they should go over all his articles to get a peak under the surface . I find the idea of a never in who studies Scientology well enough to learn many of the implausible truths fascinating . Especially when that person is not in the " I believe every conspiracy theory I hear" club.
I was in for twenty five years and had to learn the bizarre truth about hypnosis, thought reform, cultic abuses and narcissists and sociopaths as part of cult recovery .If I was not in I would not believe a hundredth of the truth about thought reform and social psychology. It is so vastly different than how cults and the mind are portrayed in education and media. Now some academics get it right , but they are largely unheeded .
But to me the question remains - how do you get a skeptical , scientific person to look deep into Scientology and see the seemingly unreal nature of its influence without that person either being a Scientologist or having a loved one in ? I feel Tony Ortega has done this - and then taken on the cult to boot !
But I think the subject is well worth exploring for others and finding out what draws in the people who put in the time to see past the hype and stereotype . I find them quite interesting myself .
Posted by Mockingbird at 10:48 PM
This post is about how the Scientology thought reform program transforms people but even more it is about what the template or original mold they are meant to fit into is based on: Ron Hubbard. It is a shorter compliment to Scientology's parallel in nature - malignant narci...
I feel the thought reform program mentally enslaves through a series of harmful practices and transcends mere lies. It makes Scientologists transform unknowingly very gradually into slaves/victims to Hubbard who acts as master/power holder in an abusive relationship.
They surrender their will and judgment to Hubbard's so totally that often they are his thralls and mental pseudo clones. As he was a malignant narcissist with a fractured mind he had certain qualities. He knew in a hidden, scared, ashamed, worthless self that he was a useless fraud and liar. He hid this behind a fake veneer, a false fortress of perfect, beautiful lies to fool , win over and control others.
He intended to use others to act as a mirror that reflected back to him the reality he wished for but could never have. To him the false perfect godlike self and the people he presented it to both were only relevant as they served to escape the overwhelming inferiority and vulnerabilities he loathed and never accepted in himself. His insatiable desire for wealth and power was his attempt to force reality to change so he could escape his own beliefs about himself.
He had the dilemma of the false self - if people conformed to his lies, they didn't really accept or love him so it feeds his feelings of isolation and alienation. They only loved the lies and he knew it. If they did not go along with the fake perfect self he was enraged as he felt entirely inadequate and projected that ruthlessly on others but deep down felt impotent rage at a world that did not love or even really see him and that he knew he was not good enough for, and never would be. That is the inner world of a malignant narcissist and I believe it was Hubbard's.
The ideal orgs physically manifest this - a beautiful castle or fortress as a pretense of prosperity, success and effective altruism. Inside are confused , anxious, trapped, ineffective, emotionally immature magical thinkers. They deny contradictory evidence and project onto critics. They strive frantically and fail to overcome their human vulnerabilities they see as inadequacy. Look closely at the lives of the Sea Org and staff and even public cult members. They are all slaves.
Posted by Mockingbird at 10:26 PM
This post is a shorter cousin to Propaganda by Reversal of Meaning in Scientology and The secret of Scientology part 1 control via contr... and Humbling Simplicity
and Scientology's parallel in nature - malignant narci... .
Scientologists practice Hubbard's legacy of double think. In his twisted reversal of meaning ethical means both ethical and with no ethics whatsoever simultaneously. So, for a Scientologist to say anyone is ethical really means nothing. It means the Scientologist has a motive to say it and that is all.
They are so intellectually dishonest and blind to inconsistency and contradiction from the loaded language and have independent, critical, linear and rational thinking annihilated and obliterated by auditing and indoctrination that their decisions are nearly entirely compromised. Hubbard did this entirely intentionally.
In totalism and cults a person's entire or nearly entire decision making is controlled by another or a group. Hubbard studied Lifton's work on thought reform and Orwell's on language and used their warnings as blueprints.
He sought by controlling thought, emotion and behavior to entirely replace a victim's mind and identity with a loving , obedient , unquestionably certain and zealously fanatical mental pseudo clone of Hubbard - a slave and completely beaten down victim of trauma and abuse.Like a battered wife or sexually abused child ruled by hopeless submission in anxiety and overwhelmed by an unsafe and unconquerable omnipresent threat .Hubbard wanted his victims tied to him by the trauma he inflicted until death .
Posted by Mockingbird at 10:07 PM
I recently had an exchange with someone online and realized that critics of Scientology can at times as they experience the "pranks" of the Scientology cult feel it is all powerful and unstoppable . I mean things like being driven to suicide or insanity and having loved ones murdered or disconnected from or SP declared or worked as slaves in the Sea Org and RPF etc. etc.
Yeah, getting buried in emotionally wrenching heartbreaking accounts of the cult can make it seem all consuming . For those hurt by Scientology it dominates their lives often .The world has a lot more than Scientology in it and fighting the cult is certainly a needed and beneficial, even kind and for some of us morally required act but it should be kept in perspective relative to its place in life .Upon realizing this personally I have found myself experiencing a tremendous relief from anxiety . I hope many exes achieve this, if they need to.
I understand how many exes are quite cynical about human nature after learning about the con , lack of benefit or honesty from Hubbard and his technology and abuses and crimes by the cult . This can be grossly compounded by seeing the endless parade of damning unambiguous publicly available evidence against the cult that meets deafening silence and apparent indifference from governments .
We need to accept our relative limitations and realize the public awareness may need to reach a much higher level to effectively urge or demand action .If you see the size of the current movements to raise the minimum wage or end US support for Israel or hold Wall Street accountable or address police brutality and the glacial pace our government even acknowledges these groups or their ideas at and the tiny issue Scientology is to most people then it puts this in perspective.
To most people Scientology is small potatoes .Taking it on is a long term job . It can help you to meet a lot of great people , but don't let it discourage you about the world at large . They don't know what you do if you are a seasoned ex Scientologist or well informed critic in all likelihood.
The cult's propaganda can subtly influence people's opinions even after they nleace or if they have never even been members . I thought Scientology was good at controlling people but I found that people who study statistics for cults found a different story .They have found almost no one buys a second or third book or service . Lots of people buy DMSMH or another basic book then find it boring and do not finish it or ever buy anything else .
I read a bit about a study on cults and member retention a while ago. I recall being pleasantly surprised that Scientology has grossly exaggerated its ability to draw in and retain people . I might not have every exact detail verbatim but I think I got the overall themes right . The study I remember said most people leave Scientology in the first two months . And of those left most leave in under two years .
The folks who make it over five years tended to stay .But think about it - less than 1% of people ever buy anything , then most of them do not buy or want anything else , then of those who are persuaded to come back most leave in two months , then of the few left most leave in two years .
When you are in or deep in it can seem like everybody you know is in for life , but that is a carefully maintained illusion .
For people like me we stuck around for decades , but less than 1% of 1% of those who get a book or first service do this . So , food for thought .
I am trying to recall the numbers from memory and may be off , but I feel the point that most people leave in less than two years is right and less than 1% of 1% of people both buy something and stick with Scientology out of the entire population. And that those who stick around over five years often stay and have the hardest time recovering.
So , do not let Scientology overwhelm you and make you feel like it controls the world or someday could . Too few follow it and too many have exposed it and it has never been successful at attracting a large percent of the population and retaining them .
I know it is a tremendous source of heartbreak , loss and suffering if it is your life unfortunately quite often . It is routinely the worst thing that a person encounters if the cult gets a grip on them or their loved ones or targets them for attack .
That cannot be overstated : it ruins lives by the tens of thousands and a strong and continuous effort to expose the cult's crimes and help members recover should be continued . But do not let the darkness of this tiny cancer on mankind block out all of the rest of life . There is some beauty there undamaged by this insidious cult .
Posted by Mockingbird at 9:52 PM
There is a hypothesis that mixes ideas from hypnotism and psychology and is mixing metaphors as these ideas are not literal but guides for the abstract .
The mind in hypnosis is seen as having the conscious part we easily perceive and the subconscious or unconscious part below the surface awareness that we don't as easily access and in most models does the majority of the mental functions .
In some concepts of how Scientology works is the model of a Scientologist say on course getting confused by one of Hubbard's persuasive methods - by design - Hubbard has overly complex instructions and terms and explanations and contradictions by the thousands in his doctrine . He also has information overload to overwhelm a student .
By confusing a student and getting them to set aside contradictions and see that they must have MUs or need to demo etc. Hubbard tricks a student into getting a confusion from contradiction ( as an example ) - the contradiction of knowing they understood a sentence they just read BUT also "knowing" that their feeling of confusion or reelingness or frustration "must" be from an MU or need to demo or skipped gradient generates enough confusion for cognitive dissonance to exist - The contradiction between their own idea and the idea of Hubbard the "authority " who is trusted on study .
They do not know what to do and so by following Hubbard the conscious mind is taken off the dissonance - it becomes still present in the subconscious but hidden . But just taking the conscious mind off it does several things . It feels better and this provides the brightening up Hubbard talks of . It also has a moment of hesitation and blankness that is from cognitive dissonance - by having following Hubbard's authority and taking in Hubbard's words go into the moment of blankness those two things act as implanted hypnotic commands . If a person only did this a few dozen times it might not have much effect . But Scientologists do this thousands of times and study the same references hundreds of times in this way .
Burying contradiction and submitting your will to a person or concept is called trance logic and has the well researched factor of making contradictions to doctrine hidden from the conscious mind via denial and dissociation but immense and ever growing in the subconscious mind . This leads to very strong negative emotions being expressed via age regression and projection at people or things that remind the cult member of the contradiction .Other mental defense mechanisms can also be tied into this .
The cult member feels very nervous , overwhelmed , frustrated and confused all at once . It is mentally and physically unpleasant and because of the denial and dissociation hiding it they are blind to the real cause . This is created not only in indoctrination but also in auditing for both the auditor and victim .
And in the course room for the student and supervisor and word clearer etc. After a while being in the cult environment or even thinking in the complex loaded language and phrases from the cult fulfills this function .
Scientology's basic formula is create a confusion ( or bring up one that is already in a person's mind ) and when they are in the moment of dissonance take advantage of their confusion and desire for it to end and indecision by making a decision for them with a lie - the lie always at least contains submission to Scientology and credit to Hubbard for improving their condition . Really he confuses you and then misdirects your attention off the confusion to pretend to help you - while inserting his commands to replace your beliefs , emotions and behaviors. This is true in books , tapes , courses auditing etc.
Posted by Mockingbird at 9:20 PM
Before I get to the heart of this post I want to make something perfectly
clear I do not automatically see every attorney as a bad person . I (naively perhaps) believe a person can be good and decent and practice law . But Scientology has a special reputation for abuses and exploitation of vulnerabilities in the legal system . The attorneys warrant exposure for a simple reason .
I have heard from far too many parents who have had to bury children thanks to the cult and others who can never see their kids and grandkids and are heartbroken every day .I could go on for hours about the abuses and crimes the cult has protected by the unethical scumbag perjury suborning , witness tampering , justice obstructing , conspiracy committing dirt bag pieces of shit Scientology relies on for lowering the reputation of the very sleaziest, slimiest of attorneys .
To be exact we can look at specific individuals and not just lump them all ina pile of human scum . That would be unfair. I will start with a well known Scientologist .
The following are quotes from Wikipedia :
Kendrick Lichty Moxon is a Scientology official and an attorney with the law firm Moxon & Kobrin. He practices in Los Angeles, California, and is a lead counsel for the Church of Scientology.
He worked out of the Scientology intelligence agency known as the Guardian's Office (GO), and was named as an unindicted co-conspirator after the Federal Bureau of Investigation's investigation into criminal activities by Scientology operatives called "Operation Snow White". An evidence stipulation in the case signed by both parties stated he had provided false handwriting samples to the FBI; Moxon has since said that he did not "knowingly supply" false handwriting samples.
In 1990 Moxon represented the organization in a suit against the Internal Revenue Service in an attempt to gain access to information about Scientology held by the IRS. He assisted 50 Scientologists in filing separate lawsuits against the organization Cult Awareness Network (CAN), which led to the bankruptcy of the organization. He represented the plaintiff in the Jason Scott case against CAN and cult deprogrammer Rick Ross.
Along with Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard and nineteen other Scientologists, Moxon was named as an unindicted co-conspirator after the Federal Bureau of Investigation's investigation into criminal activities by Scientology operatives called "Operation Snow White". At the time of the indictments and investigation by the Federal Bureau of Investigation in the Operation Snow White case, Moxon was working in the church intelligence agency then known as the Guardian's Office (GO). Operation Snow White was the name coined by Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard for a mission by the organization's intelligence division to illegally obtain documents from the United States government.[ As part of Operation Snow White, members of the Guardian's Office broke into U.S. government offices including those of the Internal Revenue Service, in order to steal documents relating to Scientology.
End quotes from Wikipedia article on Kendrick Moxon
I will let people examine this individual for themselves and decide how ethical an attorney he is .
I will provide a few other relevant quotes to support my claim that Scientology attorneys have a history that simply puts them into an entirely different ethical category than others .
Begin Wikipedia quotes:
In 1994, Scientology attorney Helena Kobrin was fined $17,775 for filing a frivolous lawsuit. U.S. District Court Judge Leonie Brinkema cited a frequently quoted statement of L. Ron Hubbard on the subject in the case of Religious Technology Center vs. The Washington Post, on November 28, 1995:
The purpose of the suit is to harass and discourage rather than win. The law can be used very easily to harass, and enough harassment on somebody who is simply on the thin edge anyway, well knowing that he is not authorized, will generally be sufficient to cause professional decease. If possible, of course, ruin him utterly.Critics also allege that the Church uses litigation as a cover for intimidation tactics, such as investigating the criminal records (or lack thereof) of opponents and subjecting them to surveillance and invasive inquiries, both to discourage further criticism and to ensure the opponent's unwillingness to fight the lawsuit. A policy letter by L. Ron Hubbard, distributed in early 1966, says:
—L. Ron Hubbard, The Scientologist, a Manual on the Dissemination of Material, 1955
This is correct procedure:Critics of Scientology cite this passage, among others (such as the widely documented Fair Game doctrine), to support their contentions that the church uses smear tactics to augment the effectiveness of legal threats.
Don't ever tamely submit to an investigation of us. Make it rough, rough on attackers all the way.
- Spot who is attacking us.
- Start investigating them promptly for FELONIES or worse using own professionals, not outside agencies.
- Double curve our reply by saying we welcome an investigation of them.
- Start feeding lurid, blood sex crime actual evidence on the attackers to the press.
- In the case of Wollersheim vs. Church of Scientology (1980), former member Larry Wollersheim sued the organization for mental distress, and was awarded $30 million in damages. On appeal, the award was reduced to $2.5 million. In 1996, Wollersheim was awarded an additional $130,506.71 in attorney's fees incurred while defending against a church lawsuit that was dismissed for violating a California law prohibiting strategic lawsuits against public participation.The Church vowed not to pay the award, and the case dragged through the courts for 22 years, including two separate appeals to the Supreme Court of the United States and two additional appeals to the Supreme Court of California. In early 2002, the case was finally settled, with the Church of Scientology paying Larry Wollersheim $8,674,643.
- In Religious Technology Center v. Gerbode, 1994 WL 228607 (C.D. Cal. 1994) (against Frank A. Gerbode, inventor of Traumatic Incident Reduction), a Rule 11 sanction of $8,887.50 was imposed against Helena Kobrin, an attorney for the Church, for bringing baseless and frivolous claims.
- In R. v. Church of Scientology of Toronto, et al. (1992), the Church of Scientology was convicted on two charges of breaching the public trust, and seven members were convicted on various charges.
- In Hill v. Church of Scientology of Toronto, Justice Casey Hill, at that time a Crown attorney involved in the R. v. Church of Scientology of Toronto case, sued and won CAD$1,600,000 for libel, the largest libel damage award in Canadian history. During the case, it was shown that a file had been kept on him as an "Enemy Canada." In their decision (1995), the Supreme Court of Canada found:
- In 1978, L. Ron Hubbard, creator of Scientology, was convicted for illegal business practices, namely, making false claims about his ability to cure physical illnesses. He was sentenced to four years in prison, which was never served.
- In 2009, a case went to trial in France, after a woman claims to have been pressured into paying €21,000 ($29,400) to the Church of Scientology for lessons, books and medicines for her poor mental state accused the Church of Scientology of "organised fraud". Her lawyers argue that the church systematically seeks to make money through mental pressure and use scientifically dubious cures. Coincidentally, a large scale simplification of the laws in France occurred just prior to the beginning of the trial. Suspicion was raised as the new law revision forbids the dissolution of a legal entity, an unadvertised change among hundreds of others. Dissolution was the main sentence requested by the prosecutor against the Church of Scientology in this trial, becoming unlawful as the law changed. On October 27, 2009, a verdict was rendered: six members of the CoS in France, and the Church itself, were convicted of fraud. Four of these, including Alain Rosenberg, were given suspended prison sentences. The Scientology Celebrity Center in Paris, a Scientology bookstore, and all six individual convicts were ordered to pay fines. The plaintiff's request for dissolution of the Church was not fulfilled.
The preceding is just a sample of the legal history of Scientology and I encourage the curious and outraged to examine it as thoroughly as you desire , and can stomach .
I want to add that in the nineteen nineties while I was in the terrorist mind control cult Scientology a frequent claim that was made time and again by staff and Sea Org members was that Scientology NEVER lost a court case . It was said that on occasion an appeal was needed to win final victory - but it was completely clear that the claim was a 100% win ratio when the dust settled .
I was told , along with others at events and in person that Scientology had truth and justice on its side and therefor ALWAYS won by simply telling the truth .
When I came out of the cult in 2014 I found that was a complete and utter lie and it supported a large body of other lies about the cult and its history and founder Ron Hubbard.
Now , if you put in perspective the distortions that are promoted in the cult to fool its members and the history that Wikipedia reports I ask you to decide for yourself and not let my personal opinion of the Scientolgy cult's lawyers as unethical scumbags influence you . I am no law expert , so completely discount my opinion as one from a bitter defrocked apostate ( I never got a frock in the first place anyway ? ) .
Don't let me influence or prejudice you one iota - please look at their history yourself and you tell me are they scumbags knowingly helping to deceive Scientologists and the public and helping the cult to commit and hide crimes or am I wrong ?
Posted by Mockingbird at 8:55 PM
One of the things I least like about the criticism of Scientology is frankly the inaccuracies I see over and over . With this post I will address one . Greed .
Yes Scientology is modeled after Ron Hubbard and he was a malignant narcissist so Scientology as a cult and individual members are influenced often by a series of tens of thousands of nudges toward becoming malignant narcissists too via cognitive dissonance and distortions .Yes , that is true .BUT people leave out that people are drawn in and baited by our desire to improve ourselves , be better people and help improve the world . And Hubbard pretended to be entirely motivated by concern for his fellow man but really had an insatiable lust for wealth and power . He famously said
"MAKE MONEY. MAKE MORE MONEY. MAKE OTHER PEOPLE PRODUCE SO AS TO MAKE MORE MONEY."-the Liar Ron Hubbard, Hubbard Communications Office Policy Letter, 9 March 1972,
The vast majority of Scientologists get roped in thinking they will help others as a primary activity . Some join only to save mankind . Virtually all of the front groups promise a better future through honesty , compassion , charity and sacrifice .
We get drawn in thinking we will end human rights abuses, help free people from drug addiction , eradicate poverty , rehabilitate criminals and he better husbands , wives , mothers and fathers .
That is left out of the dialogue far too often . Are Scientologists deluded and sometimes delusional ? No doubt .Are they evil to the core and narcissists who are money motivated before they ever walk into an org ? For the overwhelming majority that is flat wrong . If you wanted to do good in Scientology I have great news - the world still has great need for that .And free from Scientology you actually have a chance to do that .
A small percentage of Scientologists are narcissists who are wealthy and love having their superiority"confirmed by science". You can call this the Cardone rule .
But please , please look at the introductory doctrine to see the lies a Scientologist is first drawn in with .If you were a Scientologist remember what attracted you and if you joined staff or the Sea Org you rapidly learn money is likely never going to be a reward for your efforts . That is not considered often by people who do not get to really know Scientology .
Posted by Mockingbird at 7:50 PM
Scientology 180 Degrees From The Truth
I have written on Hubbard's use of reversals of truth as part of his psychopathology (mental or behavioral disorder."he showed evidence of genuine psychopathology") and fitting his study of the work of , among others , Orwell and Lifton on language . He wrote on propaganda by redefinition of words .
I have also written on my acceptance of his fitting the definitions of a malignant or traumatic narcissist .Some define this in different terms but for my purposes I think the models that state the malignant narcissist is like a mix of narcissism and psychopathy and According to the DSM-IV, “narcissists expect to be catered to and are puzzled or furious when this does not happen… they expect to be given whatever they want or feel they need, no matter what it might mean to others… and they may react with disdain, rage or defiant counterattack” if questioned or refused. However, narcissists need attention and compliments, which psychopaths do not need. Serve to define Hubbard .
Further in studying cultic abuse a subset of malignant narcissism is theorized to exist . Doctor Daniel Shaw coined the term 'traumatizing narcissist' as a system of subjugation – the objectification of one person in a relationship as the means of enforcing the dominance of the subjectivity of the other.
quotes taken from http://thenarcissisticlife.com...and http://www.amazon.com/Traumati...
And further there is the concept of the“180 rule” meaning for psychopaths The Psychopath’s Lies are 180 Degrees the Opposite of the Truth. A total reversal .
This is explored here http://180rule.com/psychopaths...
Here is an excerpt : The Psychopath’s Lies are 180 Degrees the Opposite of the Truth Frequently, the mirror image of the truth appears in a psychopath’s lies.Most notably, he will accuse you of being guilty of his own transgressions and he will slander others by accusing them of his own crimes. In psychological terms, it’s called “projecting”. The term “180 rule” applies to projecting as well as to the myriad of other lies he tells. They tell the lie that is furthest from the truth.
I have written on this in Scientology's parallel in nature - malignant narcissism
and Propaganda by Reversal of Meaning in Scientology
and how this affects Hubbard's victims here The secret of Scientology part 1 control via contradiction
Simply put Hubbard had in my opinion a cluster of behavioral symptoms that included lying in a manner that was often the exact reverse of the truth as a component of his fundamental character . He additionally found materials on how this can be used to confuse and manipulate others effectively and exploited that knowledge as fully as he could . His doctrine has his behavior so thoroughly interwoven in it and the doctrine so totally dominates his victims minds and the cult he founded that they and it mirror him very exactly in many aspects .
He called the slavery he gave total freedom , and so the cult follows his example to an extreme degree in many ways . Paradox is a method of confusion which Hubbard loved to use to make others more suggestible and then command them and over time enslave them . You should always consider that the truth for any statement from the Scientology cult or a Scientologist is 180 degrees away from what is presented - you often will be right on the mark . Do not let the audacity of the reversal put you off - that is part of the technique .
I feel this is borne out time and again as Hubbard pretends to do the opposite of what he actually does . Auditing adds content , but is promoted as removing it , study tech inhibits the ability to study but is said to improve it , ethics destroys your morals , admin makes people confused about groups - to hide the corruption and fraud in Scientology , the Sea Org elite are actually a low slave class . He says his enemies do the very mental enslaving he himself did .
The cult "exposes" any exes or critics who report the cult's own very real crimes . The cult always positions itself as similar to Jews persecuted by Nazis - when in fact Hubbard based his practices and doctrine largely on Hitler's methods and ideology covertly repackaged - so the 180 degree reversal is to pretend to be victims of Nazism instead of successors to it conceptually .
I have found the audacity of making a claim 180 degrees from the truth when a claim of the truth is also given tends to confuse people and cause them to withdraw - a win for the cult as it allows their crimes to continue unopposed by authorities . I have re-examined hundreds of Hubbard's doctrine and claims and found this to be quite consistent and the basis for the PR and methods the cult still uses - they know at some high level that it is all lies as they use the exact same propaganda method .
Posted by Mockingbird at 8:08 AM
Tuesday, May 26, 2015
You CICS who SCOHB ! Fleet Admiral David Miscavige is following the ecclesiastical doctrine set forth by the Liar Ron Hubbard in the terrorist mind control cult Scientology! Here are references to set you straight on the longstanding orthodox Scientology tradition that is being followed ! This IS standard tech !
"Unfortunately, it is all too often true that suppressors to a creative action must be removed before construction and creation takes place. Any person very high on the Tone Scale may level destruction toward a suppressor."- the Liar Ron Hubbard, SCIENCE OF SURVIVAL, p. 159
Here are a few quotes from Chapter 6 of the book "Introduction to Scientology Ethics" and Hubbard's groundbreaking essay on his concept of Ethics "The Responsibilities of Leaders" ( which is also a PL and part of staff and Sea Org training ) - it has been called David Miscavige's favorite Scientology reference and one he orders subordinates to study over and over .
"Life bleeds. It suffers. It hungers. And it has to have the right to shoot its enemies until such time as comes a golden age."
"...the foremost law, if one's ambition is to win, is of course to win."
"When you move off a point of power, pay all your obligations on the nail, empower all your friends completely and move off with your pockets full of artillery, potential blackmail on every erstwhile rival, unlimited funds in your private account and the addresses of experienced assassins and go live in Bulgravia and bribe the police."
"He doesn't have to know all the bad news and if he's a power really, he won't ask all the time, 'What are all those dead bodies doing at the door?' And if you are clever, you never let it be thought HE killed them - that weakens you and also hurts the power source. 'Well, boss, about all those dead bodies, nobody at all will suppose you did it. She over there, those pink legs sticking out, didn't like me.'"
the Liar Ron Hubbard, Hubbard Communications Office Policy Letter, 12 February 1967, "TheResponsibilities of Leaders"
And to further authenticate the claim that Miscavige follows Scientology in this matter is the following quote from the most studied most fundamental doctrine in all of Scientology KSW itself !
"When somebody enrols, consider he or she has joined up for the duration of the universe - never permit an ‘open-minded’ approach... If they enrolled, they’re aboard, and if they’re aboard they’re here on the same terms as the rest of us - win or die in the attempt. Never let them be half minded about being Scientologists... When Mrs. Pattycake comes to us to be taught, turn that wandering doubt in her eye into a fixed, dedicated glare… The proper instruction attitude is, ‘We'd rather have you dead than incapable.’"- the Liar Ron Hubbard, KEEPING SCIENTOLOGY WORKING, 7 February 1965, reissued 27 August 1980
So , seeing how DM felt his elderly father might not be capable any longer of serving the terrorist cult and could embarrass him or expose the cult's secrets under the ‘We'd rather have you dead than incapable.’" and "Life bleeds. It suffers. It hungers. And it has to have the right to shoot its enemies until such time as comes a golden age." doctrine it is obvious that it is a deeply , deeply sacred matter in Scientology to be allowed to "let him die" or if needs be to take even more drastic steps to win "...the foremost law, if one's ambition is to win, is of course to win." So , anyone seeing Miscavige as deviating from standard orthodox Scientology in this matter really looks quite foolish and does not have a leg to stand on .
Posted by Mockingbird at 7:16 AM
I will share a secret with you...only you cannot tell anyone else. A way some insecure or even shallow or pretentious or narcissistic individuals can pretend superiority or authority or try to confuse or dominate others is by intentionally using big, specialized or unusual words .
A person doing this can enter a kind of trance with extreme confidence and certainty. It functions as a thought stopping cliche. As the recipient is confused that reinforces the feeling of superiority and close minded overconfidence the verbose( using overly long or complex words ) word user feels.
It encourages the fallacy in the verbose communicator's mind of feeling their vocabulary or certainty or ability to dumbfound or fluster others proves their rightness.
This is a particularly noticeable problem for Scientologists as they have critical , logical and rational thinking reduced by the cult's influence. They become entrenched in a false system of status with higher rank assumed by possession of a larger vocabulary with more Scientology terms, phrases and abbreviations.
It is truly a false pretense intentionally created and strongly encouraged by Hubbard. To learn the mountain of terms one must totally devote their life to the cult- so the false status and fanatical devotion go hand in hand. This helps to discredit never in critics as they are falsely seen as ignorant if they "don't talk the talk".So , they never get listened to.
Ex Scientologists suffer a tremendous loss of status if they realize that Scientology is less than what Hubbard said. The loss in some ways is proportionate to the severity of the downgrade in value of Scientology. If they accept it as still conveying some value or special insight they may feel they still are especially intelligent or have rare wisdom. If they see Scientology as a worthless con or wasted effort they may have a potentially humiliating experience. This humiliation may be partially avoided by using the immense English vocabulary some Scientologists achieve while in the cult for years and decades as they "clear" thousands and thousands of words.
Routinely in Scientology indoctrination a cult member spends many hours in looking up definitions. As a result some can rattle off definitions for thousands of words without hesitation as that is required in the cult.
So, with the old status stripped away it is easy to try to reassert an appearance of high intelligence and knowledge formerly held in the cult. This is done by strategically using vocabulary to overwhelm others .It can conceal uncertainty and a lack of knowledge and confidence from both the ex Scientologist and others.
I have several times in casual conversations with never ins who know nothing about Scientology seen an interesting phenomena. I have just as an off hand remark explained things like why spelling and grammar rules have so many exceptions or the derivations of the days of the week or idioms people ask about or just spontaneously broken down a long obscure word into its root parts and then put the prefix and suffix together to find the meaning.
Years ago if I did this some would act like it had to be an act , a put on.
In recent years if this happens I calmly tell the doubters to take their phone and Google my statement . I say it will take five minutes to check . A few still acted unsure.
Then I see them a while later and they have a suspicious and nervous look. They know I was right , but feel I could not have known that obscure information as they didn't and they are sure they are smarter than me.
Now , in fairness I barely have a high school level education. And as humbling as it is to admit it memorizing thousands and thousands of definitions and derivations in Scientology indoctrination really doesn't make me a truly intelligent or educated person .Not at all. But , and this is a huge but, I can occasionally fool people regarding this - confidentially - even including myself . So, now you know my humbling secret . Thanks for keeping it just between us.
Posted by Mockingbird at 5:59 AM
Monday, May 18, 2015
I read Tony Ortega's fabulous first book on Scientology last night and found it to be absolutely superb . As his first book it is premature to call it a magnum opus , but compared to many other books on the subject it could be called that .
Now, truth be told I am quite biased as Tony Ortega has with his superb blog the Underground Bunker helped me tremendously to find the truth about Scientology and the Liar Ron Hubbard and his editor for the book Jon Atack has personally put a long and patient effort into helping me personally recover .
But , even keeping that in mind I hope my message about this book is still valid and will be helpful for others.
I have read several books on Scientology - Going Clear , Beyond Belief , Queer and Pleasant Danger , Bare-Faced Messiah , A Piece of Blue Sky and several others .
Bare-Faced Messiah and A Piece of Blue Sky are vital for ex Scientologists and Scientologists to learn the truth about Ron Hubbard and his organization .
Queer and Pleasant danger gives the story and perspective of one unique person and is a personal experience with many elements and Scientology is one - but if you know little about Scientology it may leave you with more questions than answers .
Beyond Belief is a heartbreaking story of how children are exploited and enslaved in mind and body in Scientology and is a very important part of the reality of this group .
Going Clear barely scratches the surface on many issues and after a never in read it and told me she was filled with outrage - I was shocked and said "That is not 1% of the crimes and abuses !". It is a beginning and left so much more to be said .
Then there is this book that is outstanding in several ways . Tony Ortega writes in a very straightforward style that is great for Ex Scientologists and Scientologists as frankly the cult experience severely impairs the ability to think clearly and use linear thought in the cult's victims . This varies but is quite often present to some degree and so any book for them - especially when they are early in recovery or have made no recovery efforts - has to be easy to follow . This is worsened by the fact that these people often have such hatred for Hubbard and his technology when they leave Scientology that they will NEVER use a dictionary after spending hundreds and hundreds of hours in extreme anxiety searching for words to "clear" as part of indoctrination , with a terror of getting a flunk on a spot check and being sent back to the beginning of a course . Tony certainly has a well developed vocabulary but does not bludgeon his audience with obscure or complex terms to lose them .
The story of Paulette Cooper is truly a great one and is one that is interesting , compelling , intertwines with Operation Snow White and OSA ( then the GO ) and Hubbard himself . It is short enough to face for a never in and not lose track of but certainly long enough to give a very clear sense of how Scientology treats its critics and what to expect from the cult . Scientology's "pranks" are felonies and worse .
And from personal experience I can confirm they DO try to drive people to insanity or suicide - they did it to me !
I feel this book is a perfect first book for a never in to read and will make sense to them , but not skimp on letting them know how utterly evil and depraved Hubbard and the organization that mirrors his sick mind truly is . Tony did a great job of making sure to not get bogged down in Scientologese or the bizarre and shifting , contradictory practices and thirty five million reported words of doctrine Hubbard created .
Frankly , that is best taken on for in depth deconstruction for academics or to assist in recovery . It becomes mainly an exercise in confusion and comedy if only studied to a slight degree by never ins . A never in can pursue it , but it would take much more effort and attention than one book can hope to offer .
Paulette Cooper comes across as doing very believable things in an unreal situation that seems to never end . Her childhood has difficulties that make your heart go out to her and make you realize she in no way deserved the hate filled and underhanded attacks the cult pounded her with relentlessly for decades . It is perfectly clear - this is not a "It takes two to tangle " situation . It is more like "it takes a psychotic organization to commit these kinds of crimes , and keep committing them ".
Fighting Scientology , and surviving all of their disgusting , inhuman , and vulgarly criminal acts shows that Paulette Cooper is truly a hero and inspiring as a human being .
Telling her story and helping to make it perfectly clear who she is and was , who Ron Hubbard was and what his organization was and still is - and even more importantly to do the impossible balancing act of informing both the Scientology audience and the never in who has never read anything else about Scientology is what makes this book stand head and shoulders above the rest .
Posted by Mockingbird at 6:14 AM
Sunday, May 3, 2015
Scientology's Parallel in Nature - Malignant Narcissism
This thread is intended to bring up several ideas and references for consideration and coordinate information from several sources with my own experiences in 25 years in Scientology and my subsequent hundreds of hours spent studying rhetoric , hypnosis , thought reform , critical thinking , logical fallacies , cultic studies , social psychology and abusive relationships in particular with narcissists as malignant narcissists and even the subgroup traumatic narcissists .
I want to start by sharing my views on several concepts others have put forward for consideration and then my own interpretation of this in relation to the psychology of the Liar Ron Hubbard , his emotions , ideas and behavior . And then examine how this also influences the doctrine and practices of the Scientology terrorist mind control cult .And introduce my take on how this can help one to understand the behaviors and attitudes of Scientologists quite easily.
This is NOT for the TL:DR crowd . It is for others .
I will start by saying this thread is primarily going to reference the videos on YouTube by Sam Vaknin . He has authored the book Malignant Self Love Narcissism Revisited.He has collected a tremendous wealth of information on narcissism and made several hundred videos for viewing .
Note : Sam Vaknin is problematic at best as a source due to several reasons including allegations of having fake credentials. He also uses parts of models that contradict each other. But I think the material I have used here is accurate in that it is consistent with other concepts from other sources . I initially was not aware of all the criticism of Sam Vaknin or I wouldn't have used him as a source , but feel I should add this information in the interest of being honest .
This does not mean that he is100% right all of the time - NO ONE is . INCLUDING me .So I encourage everyone to consider my views if you choose to and then examine the evidence that supports it AND the evidence that disagrees also and decide your own opinion - and know that no matter what you do you also are not 100% right .So I reserve the right to be wrong or in error or realize this and change my mind at any time about anything FOREVER . And I suggest you do the same .Okay , got that disclaimer out of the way NOW for the thread.
First I want to reference and recommend the YouTube video
Unmasking Narcissists , Psychopaths and their Abuse with Ruth Jacobs in Cambridge , UK
I consider this an excellent interview of Sam Vaknin .
He reveals how he started his research and very basic concepts that are a great foundation for understanding certain models of narcissistic personality disorder . The model he proposes is in my opinion comprehensive and regarding Ron Hubbard is also extremely detailed and consistent with all of the doctrine Hubbard created and his behaviors , emotions and beliefs . Particularly if you accept Vaknin's concept that antisocial personality disorder AND narcissistic personality disorder can both be present in one person .
In the malignant narcissism model as the two disorders combined Hubbard is explained to an astonishingly accurate degree ( Dr Daniel Shaw has the subgroup traumatic narcissists which include cult leaders and zeroes in on Hubbard even further , and the effects his actions create even more ).Vaknin here explains many details of narcissism and malignant narcissism .He explains the theory of severe abuse or neglect or idealization as causing narcissism . In theory either way the child is caused trauma so routinely and severely they do not develop boundaries and an individual identity in a normal or healthy progression .Parents with borderline disorder or other severe disorders more often raise narcissists .The child to cope makes a false self to hide behind and the true self atrophies .The true self diminishes so much it lacks key developmental experiences and progress that others have .The false self is a facade , a fake perfect confident , invincible , all knowing superior being - but it is entirely a lie .
The narcissist has such extreme inability to face the true unhappy , self loathing self that they do not face it and through honest self reflection grow .Vaknin describes NPD as having a fractured mind . Similar but not identical to MPD .He includes the concept of the narcissist as one who changes their attachment style to avoid abandonment by lacking strong emotional bonds of trust and love and compassion as they are avoiding the deep pain of abandonment by a person they have deeply bonded with .
He explains how narcissists create the fake self in response to unbearable and extreme long term trauma and that the damage that creates narcissism is devastating . The change is longstanding and on the level of the foundation of the identity of a person . This has striking similarities to certain ideas and statements Ron Hubbard made . Several statements he made reflect the exact attitudes and feelings Hubbard expressed . Hubbard's redefinitions of affinity strongly fit the behaviors defined here .
Hubbard's pathological lying fits this perfectly .His relentless lying AND the content of his lies that aggrandize his achievements and abilities fits this model with chilling and profound consistency .His description of the idolized or golden child as treated as perfect , superior and flawless as one who responds by knowing they are truly not recognized or even perceived leads to a no win situation . If they try to adopt the true identity they cannot become this as no one is perfect . If they utterly reject the fake perfection they are discouraged and in conflict with only neglect and no proper recognition and encouragement .They adopt the fake identity as a lie to survive . In utter confusion and desperation . They hold two belief systems - the false hopes and optimism of the fake identity and the severely negative , lonely , despondent , low self-esteem, conflicted and essentially double bound undeveloped true identity . It is often so desperate and traumatized and lacking in a positive self image that no lie , no act is beneath its nonexistent dignity .
The narcissist to survive relentlessly seeks attention , rewards and "proof" of being successful , intelligent , able and noble - the very attributes the narcissist lacks and avoids the true situation regarding compulsively or obsessively by trying to "prove" they have perfectly .The narcissist has the obstacles of immense buried cognitive dissonance regarding their desires and self image prior to developing narcissism and the confusion over their trauma and adopting false beliefs to quell dissonance and by adopting them avoiding by denial and dissociation the dissonance and so find rejecting the narcissistic traits that result as unthinkable . And the lack of development of normal traits such as humility and compassion , including empathy , leaves the narcissist severely unprepared to easily correct their severe and chronic flaws that constitute a bona fide personality disorder .
It is chilling and tragic to recognize the tremendous similarities between how Vaknin's concepts precisely outline the process of the development and conditions of malignant narcissism and the progressive gradual changes a Scientologist experiences .
Hubbard developed a method of covert abuse that through his cult mirrors his own development into a traumatic narcissist . The Scientologist gains two belief systems - similar to the two selves Hubbard had . The cult member develops a very extreme double think and pathological avoidance of reality - similar to the narcissist Hubbard hiding behind and focusing on the false self and striving to make its lies true .
The cult member develops the hidden profoundly overwhelming potent cognitive dissonance hidden from the conscious mind via trance logic achieved by deep ,strong hypnotic submission to Hubbard - as Hubbard developed it as a dysfunctional coping mechanism for his idolized golden childhood . He did not understand the treatment he received and buried the truth of his inadequacy and inability to be perfect and transcend his very humanity. He hid from the contradiction between the identity he truly had and the one he was falsely attributed with in childhood . He has been reported to have been coddled and spoiled to an extreme degree by several relatives as a child .This is not love and affection and encouragement . It is being treated as a projection of the desires or fantasies or emotions of the caregiver and in truth extreme -almost absolute emotional neglect -as the child is not even seen or loved in this relationship and can sense the caregiver's love of a fantasy and lack of true acceptance . The contradiction between the fake adulation and true neglect and totalistic control create a double bind - the loving hand is truly one enslaving and denying the existence of the child ( Hubbard) and his rights .That this is covert is the source of the contradiction , confusion and double bind .
Hubbard never overcame this and fitting Dr Daniel Shaw's traumatic narcissist model Hubbard perpetuated this by covertly subjugating his victims - he did not recognize their rights or even status as deserving honesty, dignity, happiness, freedom , families, sanity or even life itself . As he was not recognized as a person he also did not see others as truly people and saw this as not just justified but as sensible , logical and emotionally rewarding to him .
This is also progressively attained as one adopts Scientology more fully .A denial of others rights is encouraged quite strongly with repetition and variation throughout basic and all Scientology doctrine . Repetition and variation are two primary methods of influence long used in hypnotism , rhetoric , indoctrination and conditioning . Virtually every school of persuasion recognizes these as valid and fundamental methods - and effective as well .
This chillingly can be seen as mirroring the idealization Hubbard is reported to have experienced as a child - he surely was told in ways that were repeated over and over of his superiority and told with varying statements and behaviors that agreed with and strengthened this lie - that became his desperately chased but never attained satisfactorily delusion . He simultaneously tried to hold it for comfort and relief and KNEW it was entirely false .
I have...uncertain feelings about him now that I know EVEN he can be seen as a victim of extreme abuse . For those that still very understandably deeply hate him and his abominable crimes and conduct it may provide some...perspective to know it is quite likely he was truly miserable and utterly alone no matter how the fake self acted or what "prizes" he "won".This to is mirrored in reports from those who progress far on the bridge and feel trapped and miserable . And those that fully dedicate their lives to Scientology and end up as slaves to the Sea Org . Sometimes begging to get to STAY at the RPF or hole SLAVE LABOR CAMPS .
Some staff and even public attain this mindset and devote their entire lives to making obvious lies from Hubbard true , with devotion via labor , indoctrination , submission to Hubbard's will and donations and abandonment and nullification of all other loyalties and obligations and even desires and goals .The conduct of the narcissist is explained by his experiences and striking radical changes from normal people - and this is paralleled in development in Scientologists and mirrored in emotions , ideas and behaviors as well .This is epitomized in Hubbard and his cult . Total totalism - the cult of cults .
And this is how and why .
To understand this more fully one can read a shelf full of books , but I understand time limits our actions . I recommend starting with Lifton's eight criteria for thought reform .A one page excellent list .
One hour of an overview on cults by one of the top cult experts of all time . He includes the very relevant concept of the cult leader (who he calls a guru)both knowing the cult doctrine is entirely fraudulent and hiding the fraud continuously AND simultaneously believing or trying to make the doctrine become true. It is an education in cults in itself that costs one hour .
And watching Sam Vaknin's YouTube video Unmasking Narcissists , Psychopaths and their Abuse with Ruth Jacobs in Cambridge , UK Time 26:14
It is a half hour investment in permanently understanding narcissists and Hubbard and Scientology .
And to round this out I recommend watching Dr Daniel Shaw's video Trauma Conference 2 from ICSA .
Shaw specialized in studying cult leaders and the trauma they experience and inflict and the effects this creates . It shows the leader and cult member in their relationship over time and generations .
For further reading to more seriously pursue this I recommend reading Thought Reform and the Psychology of Totalism: A Study of "Brainwashing" in China by Robert Jay Lifton, A book Hubbard reportedly read along with 1984 for a blueprint on HOW to build a cult .
And Traumatic Narcissism: Relational Systems of Subjugation by Daniel Shaw , it goes into great detail regarding the method of becoming a cult leader or member , and True Believer by Eric Hoffer ,which has excellent descriptions of how mass movements function .
I was trying to think of the best possible visual reference to show the outer facade of a perfect godlike fake identity and the true inner atrophied , abandoned , worthless, utterly abominable , pathological liar , morally corrupt , entirely lacking in both humility and compassion inner true self and was thinking of a beautiful castle and on the inside a dark corner in wreckage behind the facade is a broken , hiding , confused , desperate insane wounded child .
I realized Scientology actually manifests this literally physically now . The ideal org program is exactly a perfect representation of this.
Beautiful facades that lie empty and lifeless with a few desperate deluded slaves trying to will the magical thinking in Scientology into reality .
These orgs look good when you have the grand opening and ship in public and staff and Sea Org members by the thousands to make a show of productivity and growth . The orgs rapidly lose the people sent in for this - within weeks . The Sea Org command teams fail to make the fraud work and then get taken out and replaced . They often get a trip to the RPF .The new command team fails and the pattern repeats . Eventually the focus is taken off an org and the command teams stop coming and the local staff are told to make it work on their own . They fail and then you may have an empty large good looking building with a few dozen staff and fewer public coming in . The staff get no pay or quite close and are constantly recruiting to put up an appearance of activity and growth . Working eighty to one hundred and twenty hours or more is routine for staff and some Sea Org members work even more . Getting three or four hours sleep a day for years at a time with zero days off including weekends and holidays is routine for Sea Org members. And getting no pay for months is as well .
The staff are abused and lied to and the Sea Org members usually have the very worst of it . The worst in the Sea Org is the RPF and it peaks at the RPF's RPF and hole . So , that is the basis of Ron Hubbard's mind - a false perfect lie , a beautiful impregnable paradise of a castle with inside a true wretched confused , abused , alone , hate filled ,immature , belligerent , petulant child that never grows up . It is like his counterfeit dreams he sells , like the identity a Scientologist transforms into over time , like the fake perfect orgs his cult builds to hide the rotten inner core of Scientology .
They ALL are projections of the mind of Ron Hubbard to change reality to match his dark desires and flee his hidden inner fears . They all rely on magical thinking and all fail . Scientology is a game everyone loses at .
I hope this is of use to some folks .
That is the true story of Scientology .
Mockingbird's Greatest Hits
I have reached nearly two hundred posts online and thousands of comments as well. In looking back at all that I realized a very small number of posts have been consistently the most viewed and likely most helpful for people seeking to understand Scientology.
I certainly hope they are helping people. Here I will try to present the short list of the posts that best explain my ideas and can introduce you to information that I hope will help begin beneficial examination of Scientology.
1)Insidious Enslavement: Study Technology
2)Basic Introduction To Hypnosis in Scientology
3)Pissed It's Not Your Fault !!!
4)The Secret Of Scientology Part 1 Control Via Contradiction
5)Burning Down Hell - How Commands Are Hidden, Varied And Repeated To Control You As Hypnotic Implants
6)Why Hubbard Never Claimed OT Feats And The Rock Bottom Basis Of Scientology
7)A Million Years In Hell
8-10)OT III And Beyond: Sources Plagiarized From Part 1, 2 and 3
11)Propaganda By Reversal Of Meaning In Scientology
12)Scientology's Parallel In Nature - Malignant Narcissism
13)OT VIII Delusion Fulfilled
14)There Is No Irony In Scientology
15 - 16)Why Lying And Murder Are Justified In Scientology part 1 and 2
17)Unraveling Scientology - A Missing Vital Ingredient
18)Loving A Lie
20)Orders Of Magnitude Part 1
These twenty posts have been both popular and give a very good grounding in many of my ideas on Scientology.
Mockingbird's Nest : http://mbnest.blogspot.com/search?up...08:00&max-resu
stuff at ESMB
Posted by Mockingbird at 10:32 PM